Fear in the Rearview: Aging, Anxious, and an evolving perception of danger

Do you ever feel like getting older has completely altered the way you view danger? Because it has certainly changed for me. I look back at my younger self and can practically feel the fearless energy and carefree attitude that once led me to so many unforgettable memories. We had serious guts back then and didn’t think twice about staying out late, pushing boundaries, or even just living in the moment. Back then, it was all about the adventure and excitement of it all, which is probably why we never even paused to consider the risks.

Now, at this big age, it feels like all that youthful boldness has been traded for a constant state of anxiety. These days I can’t even walk around the neighborhood, go to the store alone, or travel anywhere peacefully without those overwhelming “what ifs” creeping their way into my mind. I am constantly mentally preparing for the worst-case scenario at every turn. Honestly, I partly blame the world for this looming anxiety. I mean, the world has always had its share of threats, but now it feels like they’re lurking everywhere. As women, it’s even harder to shake that paranoia, and it’s like we’re wired to worry the moment adulthood hits and all of that fearlessness we once had takes a back seat to it all.

It’s frustrating how getting older has completely changed my perception of safety, leaving me constantly on edge all the time. I think in reality, a lot of us have felt that shift, even if we don’t want to admit it. We went from guts and glory to anxiety and depression. All of us who couldn’t wait to get older are punching the air right about now. School could never have prepared me enough for the harsh reality that comes along with adulthood.

Even the simplest things, like driving on the street or making bigger life decisions, feel like they come with a side of anxiety. With age comes responsibility, and with responsibility comes maturity—and all of a sudden, it’s like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. You start to realize just how chaotic real life is and finally understand why all of our parents were constantly stressed out.

Another part of aging that’s a hard pill to swallow is realizing that we’re not the only ones getting older. Watching our parents, grandparents, siblings, and even kids grow older alongside us can be bittersweet. Time feels like it’s speeding up, and between managing daily responsibilities and trying to keep our mental health intact, it’s easy to get overwhelmed by the fear of losing the people we love. Aging is a beautiful experience, but it's also incredibly emotional when you take it into account that it is happening all around you. It makes you reflect on love and loss, and that’s terrifying in itself.

And don’t even get me started on the news and social media. They’re always broadcasting the worst of the worst, constantly reminding us of how scary the world really is. It makes me want to bind myself in bubble wrap and stay home forever. But even then, the anxiety doesn’t stop. I could be sitting safely within the four walls that I call home, and still, my mind is scanning for potential danger. Especially if someone knocks on the door. Maybe that is a millennial thing, but anyone who is home alone and hears a knock at the door has been consumed by the same unnerving feeling, I assure you. It’s honestly exhausting feeling this way, all the time.

Here’s the thing though, being cautious and aware is necessary, especially in today’s world. But constantly living in fear of the unknown is no way to live. I get that it's easier said than done, but personally, I’m determined to stop letting fear call the shots in my life. Living in constant anxiety is exhausting, and the more you let it fester, the worse it gets. It starts getting in the way of enjoying life and will consume you if you let it.

We’ve got to find that balance, where we can feel safe and secure without letting all of the “what ifs” dictate our lives. Of course, change and improvement are not going to happen overnight, but all it takes are baby steps to get that much closer to freeing ourselves from fear's grip. There are so many beautiful moments in life that we deserve to embrace. Denying ourselves the freedom to enjoy them because of fear is only a disservice to ourselves. Soak in every moment, be cautious, but also be resilient. Maybe even let go, just a little.

We’ve only got one life, and yes, the world can seem scary—I would know—but there really is still so much good left in it. Those good moments will always far outweigh the bad. So, let’s be kind to ourselves, do what we love, spend time with the people who matter, and, of course, always look out for ourselves. Because at the end of the day, we deserve to live and not just survive.

What are your thoughts on aging? What fears do you associate with getting older? I would love to hear your thoughts!